By Colin Altevogt
Staff Writer
The day after the state track & field meet, friends and
family are over at my house for my graduation party. As people leave, I shake
hands with some of my parentsâ?? friends. Over and over, I hear the same line.
â??Congratulations,â? the last couple to leave say as they walk out
the door. I nearly canâ??t take it anymore.
â??You know, itâ??s not that hard to graduate from high school,â? I
call back. â??But thank you.â?
The phone rings. I slowly walk over to pick it up.
â??May I speak to Colin Altevogt?â? a voice on the other end asks.
â??Sure,â? I say. â??Go ahead.â?
â??Hello, Colin. This is Nancy Alspaugh. Iâ??m the current president
of the IHSAA board of directors.â?
Totally confused, I ask her how sheâ??s doing.
â??Good,â? she replies. â??I like your work on HoosierAuthority.com.â?
â??Oh, thank you,â? I say. â??Itâ??s nice to know that some people read
it since it can be time consuming.â?
She sounds puzzled as if she figured I threw all my writing
together quickly.
â??Really?â?
â??Nah. Iâ??m just messing with you.â?
â??Anyway, the reason Iâ??m calling is because the board of
directors has agreed to a very special deal. We feel that our track programs
are some of the best in the country. Over the summer, we are going to send our
team of All-State athletes to face those from other states. Weâ??re calling it â??Indiana vs. The Nation.â??
â?
â??Oh, thatâ??s a really cool idea,â? I say back, now wondering why I
was being called.
â??We want you to coach the girls team,â? she says unexpectedly.
I nearly drop the phone. My mom stops cleaning up the house for
a second and mouths who is it? I wave her off.
â??Excuse me?â?
â??We figure your knowledge of girls track & field surpasses
anyone else in the state. We realize that a recent high school graduate who is
the same age as a lot of the athletes isnâ??t the best idea, but we were willing
to compromise. Would you be interested?â?
I take the phone away from my ear for a second and stare at it.
I put it back to my ear.
â??Colin? Are you there?â?
â??Yeah, Iâ??m here. Itâ??s very flattering that I was the first
choice. I donâ??t know what to say.â?
â??Yes or no,â? she says flatly.
â??Yes.â?
â??All right. Fantastic.â?
She then lays out the details for me. Since I was technically
still in high school, I could not be compensated financially for coaching. (At
least now I knew why I was chosen.) The best I could ask for was, as she put
it, â??gifts of moderate monetary valueâ? every once in a while.
In other words,
nothing exceeding $100.
â??Any last questions?â?
â??Nope,â? I say. â??You explained it all pretty well.â?
â??So youâ??re in this?â?
â??Yeah. One request, though.â?
â??I want a 1972 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Milwaukee Bucks jersey.â?
She again sounds puzzled. She asks why.
I pause to think about it.
â??I have no idea.â?
â??Youâ??re really weird, kid.â?
Of course, I had to consider that I would travel around the
country for free on the IHSAA dime. I was a soon-to-be 19-year-old head coach
of the Indiana
team that was to take on the country. Hard to complain about not being paid.
I was granted up to two assistants and told that while the final
decision was totally up to me, I was advised to take someone older, preferably
from a different area of the state. Instantly, I had my two choices.
I pulled the cell phone out of my pocket and chose Brandon
Jonesâ?? name from the phonebook.
â??Hello?â?
â??Hey, Brandon.
Itâ??s Colin.â?
â??Howâ??s it going, one fifty-nine point seven?â?
â??Iâ??m good, man. And, dude â?¦ it was point six.â?
â??So did you get my e-mail?â? he asked, seemingly uninterested in
discussing tenths of a second.
â??No, we had my open house today. Havenâ??t touched the computer.
Whatâ??s it about?â?
â??OK, Iâ??ll just tell you now then. The IHSAA called and offered
me the head job for the Indiana
boys team. Remember when we did â??Indiana
vs. The Nationâ? on Indiana Runner? Itâ??s really going down, man. I want you to
be my assistant.â?
â??Ah, ****. I was calling you for the same thing. They asked me
to be the girls coach. I need a couple ACs.â?
Thereâ??s a pause.
â??They chose you to be the girls coach?â? he asks skeptically.
â??Youâ??re just a kid.â?
â??Some people say cucumbers taste better pickled,â? I reply.
â??What?â?
â??Huh?â?
With nothing to say in response to that, he attempts to get off
the phone.
â??Well, good luck,â? he tells me. â??Looks like we both have work to
do to find our assistants. Too bad your relay didnâ??t run a little faster
yesterday. You could be running.â?
â??Yeah. We werenâ??t too close, though. A couple years ago, we were
right there. In fact, set a record for fastest team not to medal in the 4×8.â?
Brandon
sighs.
â??I know, Colin. Everyone knows that you didnâ??t medal.â?
One down, one to go. I dial up Derek Leininger. Surely, the
father of Indiana
track & field on the Internet would want to participate in our stateâ??s
biggest adventure.
Wrong. He sounds almost offended when I ask.
â??I have to coach, you know that.â? says Derek, who had just taken
the head cross country job at my alma mater. â??Why would you ask me to be your
assistant? I thought you were going to be my
assistant this summer.â?
â??Change of plans, I guess. I had no idea this would happen.â?
Frustrated and 0 for 2, I feel like Shaq at the foul line. I now
have no respectable choices for assistants. Sitting down in my computer chair,
I decide to throw respectability out the window.
I call my best friend, Eric Becher.
â??What are your plans for the summer?â? I ask to start
conversation. I already knew what he was doing.
â??Just working with my grandpa and stuff. Why?â?
â??Okay, you might want to be sitting down for this. Or standing
up. Iâ??m not sure which one you do when your friend calls to offer you a job to
travel the country with the best girls track athletes the state has for an
entire summer.â?
â??What are you talking about?â? he asks.
â??Itâ??s â??Indiana
vs. The Nation,â?? man. Itâ??s going down. Weâ??re taking on every state. They chose
me to be the coach. I want you to be my assistant. Are you in?â?
He doesnâ??t respond. I listen close to hear what heâ??s doing but
canâ??t detect anything.
â??Eric? Eric?â?
â??Of course I am!â? he says excitedly.
â??Oh, but you canâ??t hit on the girls,â? I inform him. â??Thatâ??s rule
No. 1.â?
He sounds like his excitement has been hit by a semi. I try to
cheer him up.
â??We wonâ??t get paid in cash, but you can request small gifts from
time to time. Come on, itâ??ll be fun.â?
â??All right, Iâ??ll do it,â? he says gloomily, still upset about not
being able to hit on girls that can beat him in the 1600.
â??Cheer up, Eeyore. Youâ??re going to get to see some great places
weâ??ve never been.â?
â??Yay,â? he says sarcastically. â??North Dakota, here we come.â?
And from that point, it was on. Shortly, the Indiana boys and girls would take on the
nation. And weâ??d all be along for the ride.
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